by Tim Nekritz | nekritz@gmail.com
As much as 2023 represented a year of many gains and reasons for excitement for the local social and cultural scene, every year comes with losing people critical to our community fabric.
Thus I feel it’s worth remembering a pair of losses from outstanding people who greatly enriched those around them and even people they never met.
Pat Parsnow and Eric Bresee had two very different paths in life but shared a passion for what they did and a devotion to putting others first. They also served as role models for all of us in 2024 and beyond.
You always knew when Pat Parsnow was in a room because you could hear his signature laugh. The laugh was like Pat himself — unique, unrestrained and always making others feel welcome.
Pat was one of the foremost bluegrass players in Upstate New York. You’d never know it — I didn’t at first because of his humble, everyman demeanor. But I would see younger players and music fans alike pay him great reverence and sing his praises. And with good reason, as Pat could pick a banjo or slap a bass with the best of them.
Perhaps he was best known for his work with The Delaney Brothers, among other bluegrass combos, but he was the type of musician who would jump onstage to help others when his name was called. Moreover, he happily mentored and inspired so many younger musicians, formally and informally, in ways large and small.
It’s not an exaggeration to say that the Upstate New York bluegrass scene wouldn’t be what it is without Pat’s role as an enthusiastic ambassador. His legacy lives on through his son Luke — who is very talented on mandolin, fiddle, guitar and vocals, often in a bluegrass vein — and in so many groups and individuals who are the next generation of bluegrass talent, keeping the genre not just alive but thriving.
At many a jam in recent years, Pat would play his antique upright bass Maudee (the name and history are legends in themselves) and banjo. Throwing to him for a solo was a privilege. I would often say that as soon as Pat walked into a room, I was instantly the second-best bass player. If his wife, Gloria, the love of his life, was with him, I’d become third at best.
But the real measure of Pat was that, every time he saw me, he’d ask, “How’s your boy doing?” Family was that important to him. The great musical family across the region was saddened by his passing, but ultimately enriched by his existence.
Establish a Foundation
When I heard about the passing of Eric Bresee in November, I was in disbelief. Clearly the Facebook message saying it happened was a hack, it was all a hoax.
This was a seemingly healthy 44-year-old man who was just starting to establish a legacy. Even when I finally saw Eric’s obituary, it seemed surreal because Eric’s love for life and for others was so abundant.
Eric’s calling was the field of human services, in helping those less fortunate, not an easy job. But he did it so well and with so much vigor, that you would admire him after your first conversation, later reinforced by seeing the differences he made.
At the time of his passing, Eric was working wonders for Farnham Family Services. He had become the executive director and guiding light of this organization dedicated to the prevention, treatment and recovery supports for substance use disorder.
Eric was key to the biggest project in Farnham’s history, a 16,000-square-foot facility that will begin construction this year. He recruited a wide range of community members with various skills — in full disclosure, including me — to become the founding board members of the Farnham Foundation, a nonprofit to sustain the group’s activities.
Helping others and the general cause of humanity was his day-to-day life. Honestly, many people look down on those with addictions and dependencies and wouldn’t even think of helping them. But addiction can happen to anybody, anywhere and Eric and his fellow Farnham folks sought to raise up those ignored by other sectors of society.
He has helped — and will continue to help through all he’s done — so many people that others wouldn’t lift a finger to assist. Yet “lift” has been Eric’s life, sadly one that is too short.
Eric and I became fast friends when we first met through volunteering. We were among the inaugural Forty Under 40 that this publication, Oswego County Business, established back when we both met the age qualification. He worked for Oswego County Opportunities then and his dedication to serving others took him through various fields where he helped so many others. His star continued to rise through his work ethic, devotion to doing good deeds and the positive power of his personality.
He also asked how my kid was doing all the time and you could see how proud he was of his son, Brayden. He even brought Brayden and a friend to a Songwriters Circle one time and Eric himself greatly enjoyed playing percussion with us all. As always, a selfless supporter. Eric kept saying he wanted to stop by next month or maybe the next. But none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, no matter how amazing we are.
The services for Pat and Eric showed how popular they were. Pat’s calling hours had a line that snaked well into the parking lot and an amazing bluegrass jam to enjoy while waiting. Eric’s services were mobbed by the many he touched in too short a life.
You can yearn for all the material wealth in the world that you want but, as the saying goes, you can’t take it with you. Pat and Eric were into things that were much more meaningful and left others richer and more blessed for knowing them. That is a true legacy.
And as 2024 unfolds, let’s not think of this column as an obituary but a reminder. Whatever you do this year and beyond, the true measure of your legacy is what you do for others and how your life makes other lives better. That is a lesson that Pat and Eric provided, one that we can only hope to pay forward.
Tim Nekritz is director of news and media for SUNY Oswego, where he spearheads telling the stories of the campus community.
